30th May: The Energy Fruit Machine

It’s been another busy week down at The Meaden Project not least because, like a fool, I’ve gone and started another blog. I figured that as we’re up to nearly ninety thousand views on this one then somebody must be a) interested b) falling about with laughter at my humour or, c) pleased that they’re not the only ones that lie about their alcohol consumption. Or all three. This blog was all about filling the time because we haven’t got a tv. The next blog is ALL ABOUT THE MONEY*. No, kidding, it’s all about the fact that we haven’t got a clue about gardening and, if you hadn’t noticed, we’ve got a couple of acres to fill. I thought I’d throw it out there (have you seen how many gardeners tweet and all that?) and see if someone was happy to offer their advice. It is the interweb, afterall. So, if you’re interested pop on over to http://www.thegardenofmeaden.com (catchy title, eh? I’ll give Hubster that one) and press the follow me button and it’ll drop you a line when I have the time to update.

Cue 'hair of the dog' gags here...

Cue ‘hair of the dog’ gags here…

The house is dare I say it, all but done. Okay, so the bathrooms aren’t in, our kitchen splashback hasn’t appeared and I haven’t quite finished the decorating (well, my rollering gimp has been cocking around at the Nurburgring 24hr for a week, then he had a two day hangover, and now he has too much work to get done…) but it’s almost there. Almost.

Best news of all is that today (actually, it was nearly a week ago now but I’ve been too knackered to update so far), yes this very day, our Plumber Supreme – known to his friends and colleagues as Nigel, came and commissioned the heating system. Oh boy, it’s smoother than an Olympic cyclist in his underpants, I kid you not. Forget the spacious but warm and inviting living room, forget the views and lightness of our bedroom or the spangly swankiness of our ultra-chic kitchen, forget the utter gorgeousness of our chandelier bedecked, copper tubbed, rococo festooned bathroom and feast your eyes on my absolutely favouritest room of the house… Dun dun der, ladies and gents, I give you The Utility Room.

Looky look at all that lovely pipeworkLooky look at all that lovely pipework

The Utility Room houses quite possibly the coolest heating system you’ve ever seen. Certainly the coolest one I’ve ever seen. Nigel, having spent a quite couple of hours in there on his own, gave me the guided tour of our groundsource heat system actually working. Wearing only wellies and my usual paint embedded get up, I felt really quite underdressed. Next time I go in there, I’ll be wearing a Darth-style helmet and sporting a light sabre. Look at it. Just look at it. All those meticulously placed pipes and gauges and valves and stuff. I love it. In my next life, I’m going to be a geek. ‘Oh’, said the naysayers, ‘You don’t want a groundsource system, terribly noisy to run, very expensive and it’ll take up your entire house.’ Er, you’re wrong losers. Stu was there for the inaugural tour. ‘It looks like a cash machine, Em’, he said. Yep Stu, very observant, that is exactly what it is.

30maycashmachine The Vaillant Energy Cash Machine. Always a winner 😉

Imagine if you will that our Vaillant get-up is an energy fruit machine, the size of a fridge. I put a pound (of energy) in, and it gives me four pounds (of energy) back to heat our lovely snug but spangly new house and supply our enormous copper tub with hot water. And then the best bit of all is that I go to The Government, give them my receipt for that pound I initially spent on the cash machine, and for each one I spend, they give me 15 or 20p back. So actually, that £1, has given me a return of £4.15 – 4.20. (For the pedants amongst you, this may well be incorrect because the gov keep changing their minds). And then, as a little bonus, I’ll get a £1250 starter fee (good job, already spent).

Oh yeah, toasty

Oh yeah, toasty

I did a little diagram of how the system works on the outside https://themeadenproject.wordpress.com/2013/03/04/3rd-march-a-monster/, but now I have insider knowledge of how it works on the inside (actually, I didn’t really understand that bit but it has something to do with refrigerator gases. I think refrigeration gas boils at a very low temperature – the heat that comes out the ground, boils the refrigeration gas and the boiler takes the energy from that to heat the underfloor and hot water. Or something) And, and, once we get our ‘heat curve’ sorted (it may take anything up to six months to work out the most efficient ‘curve’ for our requirements) we won’t have to do anything but admire it. The outside sensors take everything into account and balance our internal temperatures based on our requirements. Anything amiss will be picked up by Vaillant’s monitoring team and rectified before we’ve even noticed. Cool, eh? Or warm even. Oh yeah, to dispel the noise issue, it is way, way quieter than an ordinary gas boiler and a little bit louder than the bean tin sized fridge in the ‘van.

See, the Utility Room is where it’s all happening. My Darth Vader suit is on order. I can’t wait to run a bath although it may be a while as I still haven’t filled those bloody water forms out. Now the heating is on, we have three weeks to wait until we can put the floors down, then the rest of the skirtings can go on, the bathrooms can go in, and whoop whoop, we’re in! Told you it was almost there. Outside, we’re just waiting for the weather to improve then the render can go on, a few bits of snagging can be finished, the last scaffold can be dropped and low and behold, an entire new, old house.

Audrey(left), Matt's new fiancée and Carol (right)

Audrey(left), Matt’s new fiancée and Carol (right)

And then to the garden, oh the garden, Matty has been here a week solid, hired-in machinery and all and my god, doesn’t it look good. But you’ll have to wait until I update the new blog – www.thegardenofmeaden.com to see just how spectacular the whole thing looks. It’s good, I promise 😉

Embo x

PS. It’s taken so long to upload this blog, not only has the kitchen splashback arrived, the Gov have put up the starter bonus for our fruit machine from £1250 to £2300. Kerchiiiing!


12 responses to “30th May: The Energy Fruit Machine

  1. Pingback: Orangehouse Renewables complete ground source heat project - Athene Communications - Athene Communications·

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