30th June: Life in the ‘Van

There hasn’t been much to report Eastside over the past couple of days, except for weeding. But there are only so many times I can tell you how hard it is to chop down an acre of sky-high foliage with a machete, and how much fun. If the wind drops today, I’m reckoning on a bit of burning to mix it up a bit. Doubtless, Dickster will turn up for the glory job of lighting the match.

Last night we went to meet visiting dignitary, aka my mum, over at Jimbillybobs. She wasn’t overly keen on the idea of a cosy supper in the ‘van so Jimbo’s it was. Rich availed himself of the flushing facilities and then we watched something called a television. The television was exciting, but more so was the Facetime conversation between my niece Belle and Jessticle – amazing, never seen anything like it. Who knew? Certainly not me. Last week it was a dongle, this week, seeing people while you speak to them, miles away. Brilliant. By the time we’ve built the house, I’m hoping technology will have come up with a virtual assistant who can muck out the horses, clean the house and mow our lawn. For free.

I think one of the biggest barriers to building from a wreck is where to live in the meantime. We plumped for the caravan for a number of reasons. Well, one actually, it’s cheap. When you tell people you’re living in a ‘van, the usual reaction is firstly of disdain and secondly, of sympathy.

Let me tell you a secret, while the toileting facilities aren’t great, living in the ‘van is utterly brilliant – seriously. The biggest downside has been whacking your knee every time you try and shuffle round the bed but that’s it. Five grand and you can live like a king. I don’t know why more people don’t do it. To that end, I asked Dickie to film ‘Through the keyhole’ and this is what he came back with…




5 responses to “30th June: Life in the ‘Van

  1. You’ve not seen MTV Cribs have you? You missed a trick as you omitted the phrase “this is where the magic happens”.

  2. you did NOT show the turd-is !! hugely disappointed ..it is after all a very special place to reflect…..but after your visit to ‘mill-paradise’ and your awe of moist wipes , i intend to buy you some ….

  3. Having a seat on some cool porcelain was very much appreciated, especially reading Jimbillybob’s Money Week. I feel better informed. Sorry about the wipes – it’s like going to a posh hotel and making full use of the facilities…

  4. Dear FB Em, have just viewed the promotional video for Lizzy and my holiday accommodation and am slightly concerned that the guest suite (presumably where we will be retiring to) appears to contain additional items of white furniture not usually found in a boudoir. I can only presume the beds must be of the folding down from the wall variety and if not can I bagsy the tumble dryer instead of the washing machine on account of my dodgy spleen not liking the damp….

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